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From the Pen of David Horowitz: November 22, 2009

November 22, 2009


Isn’t that just like you, to think you can psych out death by treating it as an aesthetic device? This could be my father’s voice, but it is my friend Peter’s. Years earlier he had become a devout Catholic. When he read this text and made this comment, it was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, the last suffering days of his Savior’s time on earth. My answer to Peter is this: I understand the finality of death, and do not make light of the end. But my journey has led me to these conclusions, which I cannot deny so late in its course. I have no faith in a life hereafter. But I will not be desperate over my own disappearance. If there is nothing further, what of it? Why should I waste my time left in misery over what I cannot change?

The voice I could not answer was April’s. “You’re so arrogant,” she rebuked me. “Think of what God has done for you. Look at the times He has looked after you, how He saved you from cancer. You need to show some gratitude. I need you to do this for me. If you don’t believe, you won’t be there when I come for you and I’ll be alone. And I don’t want to be without you.”

I tried to soothe her. “Don’t fret,” I said. “If there is a God, I am sure He is merciful, and will not condemn me for my lack of faith. Life cannot be merely a test to see if God’s children will believe.”

I thought this reasoning effective, but the pain in her eyes would not quit She was already missing me.

Her distress caused me to reconsider what I had said. In fact, I had no answer. I was arrogant. If there was a God, how could I, in my mere mortality, know His plan? Maybe the whole idea was to see through the chaos and, through an act of faith, discover the divinity in it all. I had lived a charmed life, and had no explanation why. Once again I was forced to question what I had taken for granted and ask, Is it I who is blind?

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

“I don’t want you to think,” my wife replied. “I want you to open your heart.”

The End of Time

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  1. therealend permalink
    November 22, 2009 3:50 am

    When I was 18, I remembered walking to work one morning and looked up and said to myself that there was no one hiding behind those clouds. At some later point in life, the thought came to me that God is going to exist no matter what I believed.

    In science, there are physicists that theorize about sub-atomic particles that I can’t see or touch but these tiny things are believed in because there is evidence of their existence. I can’t see or touch God either, but I have seen the evidence that He is there.

  2. firebirds#48 permalink
    November 22, 2009 4:58 am

    I was told a a very young age”To see God one must look
    through the Eyes of God,not the eyes of Man” As I grew
    older and looked at the World around me, the realization
    became vivid and the Reality of God became very
    real in my existence….it wasn’t the God of Religion, it
    was the God that exists in everything that lives in
    this Universe.

  3. Jeff Wiggins permalink
    November 22, 2009 6:35 am

    AMEN, You will like what you find in the saviour.

  4. John Davidson permalink
    November 22, 2009 6:49 am

    As a child, I was given a dollar to place in the offerring, but chose to use the money to purchase a treat for myself on the return trip home. Later, I realized I had put my own needs first. Sometimes, the message is so subtle, but it lives within you.

  5. Janet permalink
    November 22, 2009 9:16 am

    Faith cannot be learned nor earned. It cannot be taught nor bought. It is a gift from God. One only has to ask for it. He’ll never say “no”.

    • November 22, 2009 2:49 pm

      Well said, but more, power is first put forth to draw them.They may not realise it but a need, a thirst is created and then comes a response. Later we realise just how incredible the love of God is that can change a character that was in total warfare against him into one who is now totally alive for him….true spiritual alchemy.

    • William James Ward permalink
      November 22, 2009 3:25 pm

      You’r words are true Janet. What a terrible thought to leave loved
      ones behind, never to be united in the future as is promised in
      God’s holy word. What proof is there for here and now, I see the proof
      in changed lives. Those who seek shall find if a true desire is
      there, call on God for help, get past the self and find the really real.
      Zola Levitt Ministries and Jews for Jesus have tremendous understanding
      and compassion for all seekers. Those who have cried out unto the Lord
      have not been ignored. I find it inconceivable that the here and
      now exists and the future will not, the message is in everything,
      it fulfills and transends, enlightens and enables. How could any heart
      that can know love refuse eternal life, who could have such a cold
      stone where the heart should be, who is it that has so much pride that
      they can deny themselves and turn their back on the Almighty. Praying
      for the lost has been a theme in every Church I have attended. I will
      pray for David Horowitz to be open to and be able to embrace the
      verities of eternal life and love, bless his wife as it is written
      if you are saved you’re family will be saved with you.

      A close and dear friend passed a year ago, he was a Harvard Phd. in
      both Sociology and Psychology, having done his undergraduate work at
      Yale he was in the senior George Bush’s class and on the Yale
      newspaper with Bill Buckley. A wonderful man with a mind of steel
      he came to know Jesus in his later years and accepted Him for
      salvation and eternal life. If you knew how hard he was to convince
      of anything you could be able to see how anyone can attain to faith
      no matter the background nor life experiences. The question is do
      you really want it. The pearl of great price is available to anyone.
      I have faith and I have beleif, call me delusional if it helps you,
      call me anything you want but waste no time in confronting yourself
      with the most important questions and decision life affords.

  6. mitchel44 permalink
    November 22, 2009 3:33 pm

    Not to worry, most of the folks that tell me they are going to heaven are not the type I would chose to spend that amount of time with anyway.

    Ah, snug lie those that slumber
    Beneath Conviction’s roof.
    Their floors are sturdy lumber
    Their windows weatherproof.
    But I sleep cold forever
    And cold sleep all my kind
    For I was born to shiver
    In the draft from an open mind.
    — Phyllis McGinley

  7. Soylent Green permalink
    November 22, 2009 4:07 pm

    I too came to God rather late in life. I started by trying to show my wife how foolish she was to believe. But, the more I read, the more I was questioning MY beliefs. My epihany as it were, was when I read the statement of another individual who, like myself, was trying to prove the Scriptures wrong. He said that Jesus didn’t miraculously feed 5,000 people. They all had a mass hallucination and just THOUGHT they had eaten. I reasoned, why should I believe this ridiculous hypothesis over the statements of men who were actually there and witnessed the event. David, you DON’T have to put your brain on a shelf to have faith. God is already working in your heart as he did mine. I rejoice for you on your sojourne knowing that you are an honest man and will find what you seek. I would say ‘God bless you’, but your wife is right. He already has!

  8. Fred Glass permalink
    November 23, 2009 7:19 am

    Fugedaboutit. No man has ever prevailed in an argument with a woman.

  9. Jeffrey permalink
    November 23, 2009 7:53 am


    Are you Jewish?

  10. Marylou permalink
    November 23, 2009 10:54 pm

    I feel for you. It was quite a decision for me to decide to believe in something invisible but it was the best thing I ever did. Since then, I have been privileged to discover the spiritual realm of life in a very positive and almost tangible way.

    We pray for you. We love you. If I may, I believe you matter to God, a loving God. For me, it helped to conceive of evil as allowed by God but not from him.

    Anyhow, it’s mostly fun thinking and talking about this stuff.

Comments are closed.